All Male Parties. This can be a controversial topic when it comes to belly dancers. A lot of my peers have specifically written on their hire me pages- no all male parties. Some are even more specific and say no male bachelor parties. I am sure it doesn’t take much for you to guess why. Bellydancers are sometimes confused with strippers. The public doesn’t always understand what it is that we do and can hire us thinking we will remove our clothing, or other… things.
So, why am I blogging about this? Well, here’s why. I was recently booked for a birthday party. No biggie, right? The client and I messaged back and forth about the location, music equipment and everything was great. The day of, I was asked to call them instead of communicating via email. It seemed urgent and I was afraid that something had happened- lost the venue, illness, etc. But no, nothing major. They just wanted to make sure that I knew that it was a surprise and if I could call when i arrived so they could sneak me in. Great, fine. I have done that before. Also, they wanted to be sure it was ok with me to embarrass the birthday boy by having him sit in a chair in the middle of the dance floor and for me to get him up to dance. Again, fine. I’ve been asked to do that if they think the guest of honor will make a run for it- lol.
What I did not know until I arrived, is that it was an all male event. The host did not tell me until I had gotten out of my car. “Just to warn you, it’s all men. About 50 of us”
Gulp. Whaaaa?
My mind immediately went to a bad place. What do i do? Do I make a run for it?
I decided to go ahead with the performance. I make sure to shoot my significant other a text about what the situation was and to expect to hear from me in about 30min.
I walk in to a bunch of guys just playing games. No one was leering at me, jumping at me, or trying to approach me. I had a private place to change. My own bathroom (there were no women there) and no one bothered me at all.
They also asked me to wrap my head in a scarf so when the birthday boy arrived, it would be even harder for him to know what was going in. I was to lead him into the room, which they dimmed the lights and then they could say happy birthday and turn on the fog machine and disco lights.
I have to admit, it was odd and I was on guard the whole time but it turned out to be nothing at all.
They were all very respectful, and once the party got started, just danced with me, took photos etc. I was even tipped nicely at the end and walked out to my car for safety.
Why am i telling you this? Because it is not a gig horror story. It’s a good gig story. It was an all male event that was just that. All men. No seedy motives, no horrible experience. I completely understand the point behind saying no all male event but perhaps add the addendum for bachelor parties. You never know, you might miss out on a birthday surprise on a guy’s night out.
